








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2045 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2321 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2351 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3021 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,878 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | EagleEyeFoley | 51% | 35 |
| #13 | Bing Bong | 50% | 16 |
| #14 | TjL | 48% | 29 |
| #15 | jROD | 48% | 23 |
| #16 | noots | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | a7om1k | 9 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | aurora | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Nomad | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | noots | 3 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t | 271 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | austin | 190 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #3 | aurora | 187 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Saiyan | 170 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ayoh | 158 | 0.14 | 5 min |





