








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1007 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1330 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1469 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,919 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nasreddin | 83% | 24 |
| #2 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | aren | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Tommy Egan | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | Lilith Wild Emu, Violent Peck | 71% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lilith Wild Emu, Violent Peck | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | DJ | 109 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | aren | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nasreddin | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sam| | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | +6.10 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Lilith Wild Emu, Violent Peck | +4.65 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | tallfreak | +3.66 | 91 | 62 |
| #4 | aren | +2.09 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | Nasreddin | +1.70 | 61 | 59 |





