








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 813 | 24% |
| Smokes | 847 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 778 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,663 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | UZI | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ComradeChan | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | Tony(DK) | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | UZI | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ComradeChan | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | Tony(DK) | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | 22 | 0.0241 |
| #2 | ComradeChan | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | UZI | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 4 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | 106 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | ComradeChan | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | UZI | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tony(DK) | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | +4.88 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | UZI | +2.03 | 75 | 31 |
| #3 | Lighter Thief | +1.06 | 48 | 40 |
| #4 | Tony(DK) | -0.13 | 17 | 23 |
| #5 | ComradeChan | -2.83 | 26 | 35 |





