








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 26 | 4% |
| Smokes | 87 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,839 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComradeChan | 36% | 22 |
| #2 | wowa archive | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | Lighter Thief | 32% | 19 |
| #4 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComradeChan | 36% | 22 |
| #2 | wowa archive | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | Lighter Thief | 32% | 19 |
| #4 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | 5 | 0.0427 |
| #2 | ComradeChan | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Lighter Thief | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lighter Thief | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | ComradeChan | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Edgy Stormtrooper | 22 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | wowa archive | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wowa archive | +9.85 | 87 | 40 |
| #2 | Lighter Thief | +1.88 | 25 | 43 |
| #3 | Tony(DK) | +0.23 | 27 | 24 |
| #4 | ComradeChan | -2.36 | 17 | 29 |
| #5 | Edgy Stormtrooper | -7.81 | 5 | 23 |





