








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 440 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 186 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7293 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4649 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4298 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1726 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,264 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | mack | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | AimlessRSA | 40% | 162 |
| #14 | ToλsTy | 36% | 172 |
| #15 | Perry the Puggle | 34% | 35 |
| #16 | Titan | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yawn Pierewiet | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | AimlessRSA | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Noobz.Inc | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | b0x | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Terrλcide | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobz.Inc | 901 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | AimlessRSA | 564 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | kZ | 427 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | S1ade | 384 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Yawn Pierewiet | 263 | 0.11 | 8 min |





