








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 756 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 309 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5766 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7474 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8310 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5991 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,300,375 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruSh | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | Terrλcide | 53% | 74 |
| #3 | Ferno | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | Yawn Pierewiet | 48% | 265 |
| #5 | Titan | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yawn Pierewiet | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Noobz.Inc | 13 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | AimlessRSA | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SpliffyMcj1ggles™ | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Ferno | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobz.Inc | 2052 | 0.16 | 54 min |
| #2 | AimlessRSA | 879 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | kZ | 767 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #4 | SpliffyMcj1ggles™ | 555 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | Yawn Pierewiet | 454 | 0.08 | 13 min |





