








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4229 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3775 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5477 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3949 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,329 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2901 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aunt Jemima | 20 | 0.0472 |
| #2 | Knockables | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Pluexy | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | coolgamer42 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Shoopuf | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knockables | 590 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pluexy | 298 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | coolgamer42 | 256 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Amos Kingsnake | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | The Jew Knows | 155 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knockables | +2.60 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | coolgamer42 | +2.51 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Jeremy Donaldson | +1.95 | 50 | 54 |
| #4 | duLuded | +1.95 | 88 | 75 |
| #5 | Aunt Jemima | +1.56 | 55 | 55 |





