








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4522 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4654 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4139 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5228 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,850 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4Hen | 60% | 173 |
| #2 | cyd1cal | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Waldini 30fps 240Hz | 57% | 180 |
| #4 | jkP | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | 1hbd | 56% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gryczanyy | 893 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | R4Hen | 540 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | Waldini 30fps 240Hz | 326 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | 1hbd | 304 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | cyd1cal | 171 | 0.24 | 4 min |





