








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,196 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 991 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1036 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,527 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLamu | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Im0ut | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Thom | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | 么Daddy Pede么 | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | XeverD: | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LuNDMAgie- | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | v1per | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | Lynch | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | JensenCS | 29% | 7 |
| #11 | LOLDK | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 么Daddy Pede么 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Lynch | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Amosito | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 么Daddy Pede么 | 123 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lynch | 65 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | Amosito | 42 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | XeverD: | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | v1per | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XeverD: | +2.66 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | Thom | +2.33 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | v1per | +1.43 | 92 | 57 |
| #4 | 么Daddy Pede么 | +0.71 | 82 | 78 |
| #5 | Lynch | +0.67 | 75 | 68 |





