








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 763 | 28% |
| Smokes | 444 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,654 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeg fik stress | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | SDK06 | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | ''ℙ𝕖𝔻'' | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Jexitz | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Niels_911 | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeg fik stress | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | SDK06 | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | ''ℙ𝕖𝔻'' | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Jexitz | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | Niels_911 | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SDK06 | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | ''ℙ𝕖𝔻'' | 7 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | jeg fik stress | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Niels_911 | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SDK06 | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | 141 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | Niels_911 | 129 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | ''ℙ𝕖𝔻'' | 79 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jexitz | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ''ℙ𝕖𝔻'' | +6.54 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | +6.40 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | SDK06 | +0.89 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | MasterKenobi | -1.45 | 45 | 51 |
| #5 | Jexitz | -2.48 | 45 | 37 |





