








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 33% |
| Smokes | 723 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 485 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 441 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,932 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterKenobi | 46% | 67 |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | Jexitz | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Niels_911 | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterKenobi | 46% | 67 |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | Jexitz | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Niels_911 | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterKenobi | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | Niels_911 | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterKenobi | 113 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | jeg fik stress | 82 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Niels_911 | 64 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jexitz | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeg fik stress | +5.63 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | SDK06 | +0.65 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Jexitz | -1.41 | 33 | 32 |
| #4 | MasterKenobi | -2.04 | 45 | 48 |
| #5 | Niels_911 | -5.42 | 9 | 66 |





