








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1416 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,809 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szczurek | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | SynDariusza | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | -EASY- | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | プーマ | 49% | 123 |
| #5 | -MEDIUM- | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SynDariusza | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | -EASY- | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | プーマ | 49% | 123 |
| #5 | -MEDIUM- | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | Endero | 44% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endero | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | プーマ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | SynDariusza | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | -EASY- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | -MEDIUM- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | プーマ | 358 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Endero | 194 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | -EASY- | 168 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | -MEDIUM- | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Szczurek | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -EASY- | +6.00 | 48 | 72 |
| #2 | -MEDIUM- | +0.22 | 17 | 39 |
| #3 | プーマ | -0.53 | 24 | 55 |
| #4 | Endero | -0.68 | 36 | 55 |
| #5 | Pa♡l♡linka | -0.77 | 65 | 21 |





