








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 473 | 14% |
| Smokes | 629 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 968 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,321 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Musty Pubes | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Bonzi Buddy | 48% | 88 |
| #3 | Rex209er | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Musty Pubes | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Bonzi Buddy | 48% | 88 |
| #3 | Rex209er | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rex209er | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Bonzi Buddy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonzi Buddy | 196 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rex209er | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Musty Pubes | +1.28 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | Hayden | +0.92 | 68 | 38 |
| #3 | Bonzi Buddy | +0.21 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Rex209er | -0.40 | 75 | 50 |





