








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1247 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 722 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 955 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,550 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OsamaBinLagging | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ItsMarius. | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Tobikarli | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | herrcooles | 42% | 97 |
| #5 | LauroN | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OsamaBinLagging | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ItsMarius. | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Tobikarli | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | herrcooles | 42% | 97 |
| #5 | LauroN | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsMarius. | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | herrcooles | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Tobikarli | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | OsamaBinLagging | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herrcooles | 286 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | ItsMarius. | 279 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | OsamaBinLagging | 19 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tobikarli | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | LauroN | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsMarius. | +1.09 | 63 | 81 |
| #2 | herrcooles | -0.49 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Treyez | -1.13 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | OsamaBinLagging | -2.67 | 50 | 73 |
| #5 | LauroN | -2.76 | 51 | 30 |





