








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 728 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1064 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1101 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,942 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | needlessnut | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | bong water gaming | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Juicy J | 65% | 55 |
| #4 | SpecHT- | 60% | 115 |
| #5 | Wowzers | 56% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wowzers | 242 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | SpecHT- | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | bong water gaming | 66 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Juicy J | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | needlessnut | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecHT- | +5.67 | 84 | 49 |
| #2 | bong water gaming | +1.72 | 88 | 45 |
| #3 | AJ | +0.49 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | needlessnut | -0.38 | 45 | 29 |
| #5 | Juicy J | -1.43 | 56 | 38 |





