








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 312 | 17% |
| Smokes | 538 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 354 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 595 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,997 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヴァンパイア | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ab | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪ Šerif poinický Ranger | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | AJ | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | marken | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ Šerif poinický Ranger | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | AJ | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | marken | 54% | 84 |
| #6 | ✪ AlkO | 52% | 65 |
| #7 | Carl Johnson | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marken | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Carl Johnson | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ✪ Šerif poinický Ranger | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | AJ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ab | 2 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marken | 348 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪ AlkO | 115 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Šerif poinický Ranger | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | AJ | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Carl Johnson | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marken | +5.80 | 86 | 82 |
| #2 | ヴァンパイア | +3.39 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | AJ | +2.04 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | ✪ ScafoX- | +1.13 | 86 | 45 |
| #5 | ✪ AlkO | -1.25 | 61 | 56 |





