








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1913 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1995 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1449 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,623 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Inkinen | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | Vaaniva Tiikerihai | 47% | 173 |
| #11 | cerbanius | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | Expextor | 45% | 82 |
| #13 | Benu🦍 | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Expextor | 21 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Vaaniva Tiikerihai | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Nasu | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Fiskepistol 🐟 | 8 | 0.0225 |
| #5 | Benu🦍 | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Expextor | 231 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vaaniva Tiikerihai | 126 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aaz1lla | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | B9 | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Benu🦍 | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |





