








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 20% |
| Smokes | 900 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2901 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,488 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | B9 | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | Vaaniva Tiikerihai | 42% | 234 |
| #8 | HerraAmiraali | 40% | 50 |
| #9 | Nasu | 35% | 83 |
| #10 | Benu🦍 | 22% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaaniva Tiikerihai | 153 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Expextor | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | B9 | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gullas | 124 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | cerbanius | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |





