








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2189 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1151 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,028 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 43% | 118 |
| #3 | Jacobs | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | vetov◐ | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 43% | 118 |
| #3 | Jacobs | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | vetov◐ | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vetov◐ | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Jacobs | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vetov◐ | 267 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 146 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jacobs | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vetov◐ | +2.23 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | +0.28 | 49 | 40 |
| #3 | Jacobs | -0.06 | 46 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪Mr.Muffin | -0.46 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | Johny | -1.84 | 41 | 49 |





