








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2403 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1901 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2698 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1603 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,427 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobs | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 47% | 129 |
| #4 | Johny | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobs | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 47% | 129 |
| #4 | Johny | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johny | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Jacobs | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johny | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪Mr.Muffin | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jacobs | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vetov◐ | +2.63 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Łowec Pampalini #CASEHUG | +0.54 | 47 | 42 |
| #3 | Jacobs | +0.20 | 46 | 60 |
| #4 | ✪Mr.Muffin | -0.40 | 42 | 58 |
| #5 | Johny | -2.88 | 42 | 50 |





