








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1019 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 271 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 381 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,136 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dopamine Dealer | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | King of the North | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Pāķis | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Koncis | 32% | 38 |
| #5 | jesus | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pāķis | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Koncis | 32% | 38 |
| #5 | jesus | 23% | 13 |
| #6 | Dexyu | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | zapt | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zapt | 5 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Koncis | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Dexyu | 2 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | Pāķis | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Dopamine Dealer | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pāķis | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Koncis | 32 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | King of the North | 23 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | zapt | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | jesus | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King of the North | +2.61 | 42 | 68 |
| #2 | Pāķis | +2.50 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | jesus | -0.46 | 64 | 41 |
| #4 | CyberBot | -1.14 | 61 | 48 |
| #5 | Koncis | -1.32 | 25 | 40 |





