








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2203 | 10% |
| Smokes | 8018 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 6357 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5341 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,342 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ingorer | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Pāķis | 47% | 439 |
| #3 | ANGRY MALICE | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Koncis | 37% | 97 |
| #5 | jesus | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pāķis | 47% | 439 |
| #3 | ANGRY MALICE | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Koncis | 37% | 97 |
| #5 | jesus | 34% | 35 |
| #6 | zapt | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pāķis | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Koncis | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | zapt | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Ingorer | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | jesus | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pāķis | 1138 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | jesus | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Koncis | 64 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | zapt | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ingorer | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pāķis | +1.49 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | jesus | +0.72 | 67 | 47 |
| #3 | Ingorer | -0.62 | 39 | 32 |
| #4 | zapt | -1.23 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | Dexyu | -1.64 | 14 | 58 |





