








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 288 | 49% |
| Smokes | 134 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 84 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,847 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Alex⛤ | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ⚡ khobe | 47% | 57 |
| #4 | lightningshock | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Himeno 🔥 👅 | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave | 32 | 0.0396 |
| #2 | Himeno 🔥 👅 | 22 | 0.0380 |
| #3 | ⚡ khobe | 20 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | lightningshock | 15 | 0.0487 |
| #5 | Alex⛤ | 6 | 0.0214 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave | 174 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Himeno 🔥 👅 | 101 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | ⚡ khobe | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | lightningshock | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Alex⛤ | 31 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave | +5.15 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Alex⛤ | +4.25 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | ⚡ khobe | +2.04 | 59 | 45 |
| #4 | Všemocňák! | +1.77 | 43 | 11 |
| #5 | lightningshock | -1.36 | 40 | 35 |





