










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 34% |
| Smokes | 863 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 369 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,841 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eagle | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ChrispyCloud | 44% | 36 |
| #3 | TheRaven99 | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Rick | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Gatolabioso | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ChrispyCloud | 44% | 36 |
| #3 | TheRaven99 | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Rick | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Gatolabioso | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | Lag | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrispyCloud | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Lag | 4 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | Rick | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Eagle | 2 | 0.0217 |
| #5 | TheRaven99 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrispyCloud | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rick | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lag | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheRaven99 | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eagle | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eagle | +4.51 | 71 | 32 |
| #2 | Lag | +3.67 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | Rick | +0.78 | 48 | 49 |
| #4 | ChrispyCloud | -0.22 | 37 | 33 |
| #5 | papipollo | -0.85 | 37 | 57 |





