








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2448 | 39% |
| Smokes | 562 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2074 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,234 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James is | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | CreepyUberGuy | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | Marlboro Man | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | CREEDPRO | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James is | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | CreepyUberGuy | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | Marlboro Man | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | CREEDPRO | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marlboro Man | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | CreepyUberGuy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | CREEDPRO | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | James is | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreepyUberGuy | 170 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | CREEDPRO | 130 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | James is | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Marlboro Man | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James is | +11.07 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Rodrigwayz | +0.96 | 46 | 40 |
| #3 | Marlboro Man | -0.85 | 45 | 36 |
| #4 | CreepyUberGuy | -1.81 | 29 | 38 |
| #5 | CREEDPRO | -6.56 | 16 | 26 |





