








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2232 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2233 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2536 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,066 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cosmic | 81% | 111 |
| #4 | King Salt | 81% | 94 |
| #5 | eXist | 78% | 89 |
| #6 | Armin | 73% | 26 |
| #7 | ββ€ eXist πΈπΈ | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cosmic | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Armin | 7 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | eXist | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | King Salt | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ββ€ eXist πΈπΈ | 2 | 0.0049 |





