










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 96 | 8% |
| Smokes | 354 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,168 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster Dave | 43% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪Meow | 43% | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ VoB | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster Dave | 43% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪Meow | 43% | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ VoB | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster Dave | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ✪ VoB | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ✪Meow | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster Dave | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪Meow | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ VoB | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ VoB | +2.86 | 57 | 45 |
| #2 | Lobster Dave | +0.73 | 62 | 36 |
| #3 | ✪Meow | +0.51 | 47 | 52 |
| #4 | GUMPY17 | -2.83 | 29 | 26 |





