










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 43% |
| Smokes | 5 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 12 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,455 of utility $13 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | mobile player | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | ExplosiveEnd | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | ChimPanzer | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Curry god | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mobile player | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mobile player | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | ChimPanzer | 25 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | Curry god | 17 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ExplosiveEnd | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pookie | 14 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | +8.61 | 63 | 88 |
| #2 | ExplosiveEnd | +4.55 | 58 | 41 |
| #3 | mobile player | +3.21 | 48 | 42 |
| #4 | ChimPanzer | -1.02 | 30 | 41 |
| #5 | Xenthial | -1.85 | 37 | 13 |





