








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 29% |
| Smokes | 267 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 153 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,733 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PimpinAintEasy | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | MVP Mailman | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | 1stOfJune | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | ChrisChin | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | JrD | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Myth | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | HABIBI | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | Timo | 50% | 8 |
| #13 | pat | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | gvn | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PimpinAintEasy | 4 | 0.0426 |
| #2 | Timo | 3 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Volk | 3 | 0.0345 |
| #4 | gvn | 2 | 0.0267 |
| #5 | 1stOfJune | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | gvn | 32 | 0.43 | 1 min |
| #3 | PimpinAintEasy | 29 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | MVP Mailman | 22 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | ุ | 19 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisChin | +6.35 | 96 | 56 |
| #2 | Lucky Charms | +5.79 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Wallabe | +5.32 | 89 | 52 |
| #4 | MVP Mailman | +4.73 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | JrD | +2.77 | 91 | 44 |





