








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4023 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4935 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3644 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4613 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,854 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StyX 2.0 | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | Excel is better. | 51% | 310 |
| #3 | StyX | 50% | 282 |
| #4 | HarshRat | 50% | 264 |
| #5 | omEg@ | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel is better. | 28 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | StyX | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Bootifool_Babaji | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | HarshRat | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | StyX 2.0 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel is better. | 801 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | HarshRat | 659 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | StyX | 460 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | Bootifool_Babaji | 336 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | KratoR | 286 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel is better. | +3.21 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Gatsby | +2.56 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | StyX 2.0 | +0.41 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | StyX | +0.09 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Bootifool_Babaji | -0.73 | 68 | 52 |





