








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2520 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1627 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3387 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,800 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ohmyremi | 42% | 48 |
| #10 | OGGLER | 41% | 49 |
| #11 | Thenoperino | 38% | 50 |
| #12 | Brush | 36% | 22 |
| #13 | Su1tSo | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^6 Yung Vlvr | 9 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | AndryPOG | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | OGGLER | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Matus | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Su1tSo | 4 | 0.0084 |





