








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 395 | 15% |
| Smokes | 862 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,853 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReXetz | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | naGato | 57% | 145 |
| #3 | rusty boi roi | 55% | 164 |
| #4 | notevan1121 | 55% | 195 |
| #5 | Tom | 55% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naGato | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | rusty boi roi | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Blackbelt267 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ReXetz | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | notevan1121 | 2 | 0.0005 |





