








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 569 | 31% |
| Smokes | 573 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,188 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stella Virgin | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | LetMeNegevThem | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Franc3s | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | DoomNut | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stella Virgin | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | LetMeNegevThem | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Franc3s | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | DoomNut | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stella Virgin | 18 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | DoomNut | 8 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Franc3s | 7 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | LetMeNegevThem | 3 | 0.0229 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stella Virgin | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #2 | LetMeNegevThem | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Franc3s | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | DoomNut | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Mosby | +3.43 | 67 | 45 |
| #2 | Stella Virgin | +2.24 | 59 | 21 |
| #3 | LetMeNegevThem | +0.23 | 23 | 63 |
| #4 | Franc3s | -0.27 | 61 | 20 |
| #5 | DoomNut | -3.02 | 45 | 20 |





