








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1006 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1851 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3463 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2004 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,307 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr3ro | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Rapid Troves | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Brody1 | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | The Beast | 48% | 290 |
| #5 | ✪vektor | 44% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beast | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ✪vektor | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | HolmesGOD | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bychtiutek | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Rapid Troves | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beast | 966 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | ✪vektor | 452 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Bychtiutek | 179 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | HolmesGOD | 161 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | pr3ro | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |





