








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2348 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1420 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2316 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 442 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,466 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Brody1 | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪vektor | 44% | 292 |
| #6 | Solenáček | 41% | 71 |
| #7 | hovna z orangutaní prdele | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | xXxVasikBorec123CZLPxXx | 19% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪vektor | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | HolmesGOD | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | The Beast | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Solenáček | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | xXxVasikBorec123CZLPxXx | 4 | 0.0077 |





