








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1614 | 43% |
| Smokes | 988 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,602 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ- . - ς) tenebris | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | eva | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | fluoridated | 45% | 155 |
| #4 | Leer | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ- . - ς) tenebris | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | eva | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | fluoridated | 45% | 155 |
| #4 | Leer | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluoridated | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | eva | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | (っ- . - ς) tenebris | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Leer | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluoridated | 186 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | (っ- . - ς) tenebris | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Leer | 55 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ- . - ς) tenebris | +8.35 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | Leer | +2.98 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | purin | -2.53 | 29 | 41 |
| #4 | fluoridated | -2.59 | 29 | 43 |
| #5 | eva | -3.90 | 10 | 0 |





