








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 18% |
| Smokes | 902 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1399 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,963 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTVMatt | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ߷߷߷߷ | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Booty | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Mythc | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | spacerz | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spacerz | 5 | 0.0311 |
| #2 | ✪ Matias | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | ߷߷߷߷ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | eggington | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | skdz | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ߷߷߷߷ | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | ChazzAyG | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | skdz | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Booty | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | eggington | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spacerz | +5.95 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | ߷߷߷߷ | +3.19 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | TTVMatt | +2.27 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | Grandpa Joe | +1.36 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | bob sponge | +1.32 | 80 | 54 |





