








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2649 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3760 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3254 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2669 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,648 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Reggie | 47% | 154 |
| #8 | ☮ | 45% | 289 |
| #9 | JupiteR | 42% | 79 |
| #10 | Badd1 | 38% | 37 |
| #11 | GAN3OOOOOOO | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☮ | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | REDU | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | SuperWog.! | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ~𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬† | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Reggie | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperWog.! | 512 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | ☮ | 455 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♿Eat.You.Alive♿ | 373 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | REDU | 235 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | JupiteR | 212 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬† | +5.25 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | SuperWog.! | +1.41 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | REDU | +1.25 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | Yato | +0.12 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | GAN3OOOOOOO | +0.04 | 80 | 51 |





