








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 926 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1108 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 699 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,136 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vattu | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | t✿mps | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | El Bandolero | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | VauhtiJäbä | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | BeepBoop | 48% | 99 |





