








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4946 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4444 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2679 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3504 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,953 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 71% | 137 |
| #2 | Aloof | 63% | 305 |
| #3 | F1UNK™ | 62% | 473 |
| #4 | nike | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 71% | 137 |
| #2 | Aloof | 63% | 305 |
| #3 | F1UNK™ | 62% | 473 |
| #4 | nike | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1UNK™ | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Aloof | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | nike | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1UNK™ | 971 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #2 | Aloof | 948 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #3 | nike | 187 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Matty | 147 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1UNK™ | +2.32 | 92 | 55 |
| #2 | Aloof | +2.09 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | English | +2.01 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Matty | +0.92 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | nike | -2.54 | 54 | 54 |





