








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1303 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2656 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2244 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,284 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shelly | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Mat3o Is The Tiltlord | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | revise | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | GibbsyGoodness | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | Uncle Dan | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | revise | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | GibbsyGoodness | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | Uncle Dan | 37% | 67 |
| #6 | Toad | 37% | 46 |
| #7 | TheKiwiPing | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mat3o Is The Tiltlord | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Toad | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Uncle Dan | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | GibbsyGoodness | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | revise | 4 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mat3o Is The Tiltlord | 244 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Uncle Dan | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | revise | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheKiwiPing | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shelly | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revise | +4.68 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | Shelly | +3.33 | 77 | 40 |
| #3 | Mat3o Is The Tiltlord | +0.96 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Princess Peach | +0.36 | 42 | 48 |
| #5 | GibbsyGoodness | +0.27 | 55 | 33 |





