








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1772 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1500 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,462 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵛᶶᒻᶝᵒ C0M3 M3NT3$ | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Cabo Daciolo | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Phfestrv | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | ۞ Gizé | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | ♛ Coroa | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Catuin ''Educa Jovem'' | 39% | 33 |
| #12 | ζ͜͡ᵛᵘˡᵍᵒ C0M3 M3NT3$ | 39% | 18 |
| #13 | Alc@p0n3 | 38% | 24 |
| #14 | ❀ R4y ❀ | 35% | 20 |
| #15 | Ferpex | 27% | 11 |





