








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4843 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3588 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4661 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2655 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,392,657 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Teryo | 47% | 231 |
| #6 | ForceCougar!! 2.0 | 47% | 62 |
| #7 | πΜΆasta π
ΉΗΜπππ | 46% | 128 |
| #8 | marlouf | 43% | 196 |
| #9 | F I [ S ] H | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marlouf | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Zeubo | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Alex (Truchot) | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | πΜΆasta π
ΉΗΜπππ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Teryo | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex (Truchot) | 596 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Nsk #18 | 362 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | πΜΆasta π
ΉΗΜπππ | 310 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Teryo | 306 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | F I [ S ] H | 296 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korben Dallas | +2.54 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | Alex (Truchot) | +2.24 | 56 | 71 |
| #3 | πΜΆasta π
ΉΗΜπππ | +1.78 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | Nsk #18 | +0.61 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | ForceCougar!! 2.0 | -0.31 | 49 | 57 |





