








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 886 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 418 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4995 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4779 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3472 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5159 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,612 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br3Ton | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | ForceCougar!! 2.0 | 53% | 103 |
| #3 | JESUS | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Nsk #18 | 52% | 236 |
| #5 | Alex (Truchot) | 52% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teryo | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Korben Dallas | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Alex (Truchot) | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | F I [ S ] H | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | JESUS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsk #18 | 811 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Alex (Truchot) | 697 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | Teryo | 594 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #4 | F I [ S ] H | 524 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #5 | Korben Dallas | 316 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΜΆasta π
ΉΗΜπππ | +2.09 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Alex (Truchot) | +1.11 | 54 | 73 |
| #3 | 420. MUSE | +0.78 | 55 | 70 |
| #4 | Korben Dallas | +0.69 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | Nsk #18 | +0.63 | 65 | 66 |





