








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1649 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1745 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $802,889 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibz | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | ZEEKE | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | CYTO | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | zxSkittlezxz | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | Step Bro | 60% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | zxSkittlezxz | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | Step Bro | 60% | 78 |
| #6 | Questionmark | 59% | 27 |
| #7 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 58% | 19 |
| #8 | Alfimannen | 57% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Bro | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | ZEEKE | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Alfimannen | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | zxSkittlezxz | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfimannen | 310 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Step Bro | 219 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Questionmark | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZEEKE | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dibz | 88 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Dezz♛ | +2.88 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | ZEEKE | +1.14 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | +0.46 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | Dibz | -0.25 | 62 | 77 |
| #5 | CYTO | -0.55 | 67 | 62 |





