








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1006 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1142 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 979 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,757 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Phoenix | 45% | 112 |
| #5 | Tormi | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | ππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈ | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | Rebel | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | Mjaagi | 35% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tormi | 12 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | Krooniline PΓ΅iki | 11 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Mjaagi | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krooniline PΓ΅iki | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mjaagi | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tormi | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phoenix | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈππΈ | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |





