








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 19% |
| Smokes | 353 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 408 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,497 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tormi | 4 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | sEnIiLsUs | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Mjaagi | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Krooniline PΓ΅iki | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sEnIiLsUs | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Krooniline PΓ΅iki | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Phoenix | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mjaagi | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tormi | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |





