








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1271 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1237 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1032 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1087 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,496 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Skjöldur | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | LeXmaskinen | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | kiefy | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | Óli Anton | 38% | 16 |
| #15 | yOGGi | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varholm | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | B Sim | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | blöndinský | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B Sim | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skjöldur | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | blöndinský | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Varholm | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zucc | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggie Smalls | +2.62 | 48 | 81 |
| #2 | kArri0uz | +2.11 | 73 | 81 |
| #3 | kiefy | +1.99 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Varholm | +1.68 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Skjöldur | +1.32 | 73 | 69 |





