








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 788 | 29% |
| Smokes | 483 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,411 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WESTiiE | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Mcauley Caulkin | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | default | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Tozic | 57% | 60 |
| #5 | ty | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mcauley Caulkin | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | default | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Tozic | 57% | 60 |
| #5 | ty | 52% | 46 |
| #6 | Sh4maN | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mcauley Caulkin | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Tozic | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ty | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | default | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ty | 122 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tozic | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mcauley Caulkin | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | WESTiiE | 60 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | default | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WESTiiE | +5.13 | 84 | 79 |
| #2 | Tozic | +3.90 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | Mcauley Caulkin | +1.94 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | ty | +1.02 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | default | -0.45 | 58 | 40 |





