








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 607 | 34% |
| Smokes | 585 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 210 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,354 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | NuflY | 58% | 12 |
| #10 | Egil | 56% | 34 |
| #11 | acKa. | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | Johnny L | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | Theo | 29% | 7 |





